There is nothing I hate more, then opening up to someone about my daily struggles with bipolar depression and PTSD and being told to just “get over it” or “your better than that.” I wish it was just that easy. I wish I could just simply move on and leave my illness at the door. BUT I CAN’T!
I recently shared my blog with a family member of mine and when asked what the link was, I explained what it was and my daily struggles with having bipolar. (Just to make it clear, I have no idea if this family member knew about my bipolar before this..) Said family member then proceeded to tell me that I “needed to learn to live with it and get over it.” cause ya know, that fucking helps. Thanks so much for the advice but you can shove it where the sun don’t shine honey.
My favorite interaction with a family member and trying to explain my depression.
Family member- “What’s been going on? How are you?”
Me- “I’ve been okay, besides trying to work through my depression.”
Family member – “oh honey, Don’t be depressed, you’re better than that sweetpea!”
Me- “. . . . “
Thanks so much! You fixed me! I’m not depressed anymore!
I wish I could simply, “get over it” or “not be depressed anymore.” I get it, people think showing a little tough love will help get a little desire and motivation in me to help get over this “funk” I’m in.
My all time favorite thing someone has said to me after I explain to them that I have depression is, “you don’t think I am sad, too, sometimes?” and “there are other people who have it worse than you.” Well, sure, I know you get sad, too, and yes, I know a lot of other people have it far worse than me, but by telling me that it is not okay to be sad because other people have it worse is like telling me that I can’t be happy because other people have it better. It’s not a fair thing to say to someone, especially someone who suffers from depression because depression isn’t about being sad necessarily.
But the truth is., depression isn’t something you can heal from in one day. Depression is a different type of sad, sad you can’t simply move on from. Depression is that friend who is always around, but makes everything hard, makes getting out of bed a chore. It takes time, sometimes months or years for some, and may even last a lifetime for some people.
Unless you’ve experienced first hand what depression, bipolar and anxiety feel like that, there is no way to understand it. It’s not an emotion that you get when you watch the heart wrenching parts of The Notebook, and it’s not easily fixed by someone telling you that they love you. Some people often make the mistake of thinking that these emotions just turn on and off, well they don’t.
If you could simply choose to be happy whenever you want to be, we would all have smiles on our faces and actually be enjoying our lives a lot more than those with these disorders are. I think one of the biggest issues with raising awareness of these mental illnesses is that people think depression, bipolar, and anxiety as something you see in movies and TV shows. You get sad, you get happy, you then move on. But it just doesn’t work that way..
Do your research, learn about it. You’ll never fully understand unless you experience it first hand but letting someone know that they aren’t going through it alone, makes all the difference in the world.
The reality of it is that people with mental illnesses have to learn to live with and have a treatment plan for their disorders, rather than “get over it.” Its okay, that you might not understand that. Honestly, I hope you never have to understand it, but please be patient with those who do.
Daily Dose of Bipolar 